Apple’s new Beats headphones — inspired by fancy car upholstery? – CNET

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.


beatsjenner

How could you not want these? 

Beats screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Today’s question is: Would you wear the upholstery from a Beverly Hills Lexus on your ears? 

Should you say: “Give me that beige and gold beauty and let me be just a little like Kylie Jenner,” you’ll adore Beats’ new Studio Wireless Over-Ear Headphones. The Balmain Special Edition, that is. 

The French fashion house has teamed up with the Apple-owned brand in order to grace your ears with a delightful level of (alleged) luxury, for a mere $599.95.

The cherry atop this effigy to leathery gilt is the younger Jenner sister.

Not only does she model the headphones, but, on the Beats website, she offers some insights into her personal musical philosophy.

“No matter what you’re going through, when you put on a song that you love, and that you just connect with, it can change your whole mood and just lift you up. Even if it’s just for a few minutes…I love that escape music gives us,” she says.

You might fear there will be no escape from Jenner-benders wearing these in your favorite entertainment establishments, the gold flashing incessantly from their ears. (I should add that this collection also includes the marginally more discreet Powerbeats 3 Wireless Earphones.)

I realize that some people will think these plush and rich-looking. For me, the beige and gold and another color combination on the Beats site — a 1960s sofa-green and gold shown on the Beats site — come across as trying-too-hard-to-be-chi-chi for a brand that was built on a more street-cred image.

The website insists that these headphones will allow you to “escape to an urban safari.” It says that the colors I see in such simple terms should actually be called khaki and safari. 

These hues apparently “represent the natural feel of the desert and the lush landscape of the jungle, while metallic gold accents bring on added level of elegance and luxury.” 

Do people traditionally put on headphones when they’re in the jungle? I rather thought they listened out for, say, animals. And when you’re in the desert, aren’t you desperately listening out for, you know, another human being? Or even a camel with lots of water?

Please forgive me if I sound unkind. I fear, though, that I haven’t forgiven the Jenner clan since Kylie’s sister Kendall promised to solve the world’s problems by handing a can of Pepsi to a policeman

I feel let down. The Jenners have retreated into the lap of luxury when I had such high hopes for them to be lapped up by the world of diplomacy. 

Perhaps I need to escape to the jungle for a while.

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