Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
When I think of LinkedIn, I think of entertainment.
The entertainment that comes when people I don’t know insist we have a connection.
The entertainment when those very same people, whom I’ve just ushered into my network, immediately ask me for money.
Now LinkedIn is going all the way in entertainment. CEO Jeff Weiner said the site, which hosts online resumes and is owned by Microsoft, is interested in pursuing the streaming of original content, The Information reported last week.
You know, businessy things, like “Shark Tank.” (Weiner reportedly name-checked the show.)
I have some thoughts on this concept. And I wish to help.
So here are five pitches for LinkedIn. I am sure they are must-haves for the company’s first slate.
“Real Housespouses of Silicon Valley”
Here’s the elevator pitch: The spouses of tech bigwigs argue over whose spouse has the finest algorithm. They fight over whose spouse knows more about the online life of whose. The show will reveal glamorously healthy lifestyles, astonishingly strange diets and the sort of dress sense that would send the costume designers of the”Real Housewives” series into conniptions. A surefire hit.
“Patently Ridiculous with Judge Judy”
Who wouldn’t tune in to binge-watch America’s most famous judge having it out with the lawyers from Apple and Samsung? (Those lawyers, by the way, are in real life.) Honestly, how long would Judge Judy need before finding these two companies in contempt of television? And think of all the other marvelous patent, trademark and copyright cases she could dismiss with her famous line: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”
“Undercover Robot Boss”
The concept here is simple. Companies hand over the running of their companies to algorithms for a month. At the end, we see if the company’s in better shape or if the employees even noticed. Naturally, any company that’s already being led largely by robots — insert the name of your favored social network here — will be ineligible for the show.
“TK Bro with Travis Kalanick”
In this show, various Silicon Valley bros must compete to be good enough to work with the former Uber CEO. Every week, instead of offering winning contestants a rose, Kalanick will look at those who don’t make the cut, point at them, and exclaim: “TKO, loser!” The ultimate winner, of course, carries the title of “TK Bro” for a year.
This scripted show enjoys a rather different premise from “Black Mirror.” Here, we imagine that the internet was never invented. It portrays a world in which there are mobile phones, but they only make calls and send texts. All the trolling will be in person. All the fights will be real. Anonymity will not be allowed. Yes, there will be a lot of person-to-person, in-real-life dialogue. But please don’t worry, we’ll get a French director.
I contacted LinkedIn but didn’t receive a reply — which is already quite Hollywood. So, I don’t know if Weiner is thinking along lines similar to mine.
If you’re charmed by any of these concepts, LinkedIn, please call.
If you copy them, though, please be very afraid. You’ll end up on an episode of “Patently Ridiculous” with Judge Judy. I think she’ll like me better.
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