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Some people crowdfund to stave off disaster.
Chris McNeil is a little different. In October, he created a GoFundMe campaign to celebrate it.
McNeil, you see, is a Cleveland Browns fan. He is part of the infamous Dawg Pound section, a group of fans who wear their pride on their fangs. Should you have not watched any NFL games recently, the Browns are to football what Microsoft is to phones.
Not a lot of success lately.
So McNeil believes that if the Browns don’t win a game this season — they’re currently 0-12 — the city should hold a “Perfect Season” parade.
“I urge you to come out on January 6th to show your support for our owner, Jimmy Haslam, and his entire front office for the product they put on the field every Sunday (not Monday night, of course, because we aren’t good enough to get that slot),” he said on GoFundMe. “We will parade around First Energy Stadium and culminate with a post-party at a soon to be determined location.”
It sounds like fun. McNeil even got the required permits from the city.
His fundraising was still short, however. But on Wednesday, headache pill Excedrin stepped in to fund the gap.
In a press release, Scott Yacovino, senior brand manager for Excedrin, explained: “All sports fans have felt a team, game or even single play-induced headache at some point. This season has been especially painful for Cleveland football fans. We want them to know we understand their pain and we’re here to help.”
The Browns didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.
Some might feel it’s desperately un-American to celebrate failure. But most of life is failure, so why not at least bring the hurting together and let them hug it out?
What, though, if Cleveland turns party-pooper and somehow wins a game? After all, the insulting undertones of this potential Perfect Season parade might motivate players and coaches to exceed their current haplessness.
McNeil promises that, in the event of a winning miracle, all the money will go to the Cleveland Food Bank.
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