Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
I blame social media.
Concocted communities like Facebook and Instagram made us believe that everything must be enjoyed in a plurality.
And then the belief infected gaming.
Suddenly, everything was multiplayer, and the loner gamer was shunned.
Now, Bethesda Softworks comes along with a marvelous appeal on behalf of those who want to be left alone to destroy whole worlds.
Here is the original Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter, barely able to keep a straight face as she explains the tragedy that’s befallen us.
“Neglected gamers feel lonely,” she says. “Shunned by their multiplayer counterparts.”
“Hi, I’m Lynda Carter,” she continues. “You may remember me from performances such as the lounge singer in Fallout 4.”
She then reveals the true pain of single-player gamers.
They hide their faces beneath pillows. They weep and curse their fates.
They’ve been neglected. They’ve been left behind by gaming companies. They’re people in need. They need to be supported, nurtured and allowed to pursue their love in their own way, free from social pressures.
We must help them, and Bethesda promises it will by continuing to release single-player games. “Single-player experiences are a big part of our DNA,” Carter says.
Please, if you know any desperate single-gamers, tell them there’s hope.
Tell them that there’s a woman of wonder who’s fighting their battle. The solitary pleasure of blowing up galaxies all on your own isn’t dead. Yet.
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